I'm not the one who broke you, I'm not the one you should fear

Yeah, so guess what I'm going to write about?
Correct.
It may seem kind of lame but it just happens to be so freakin' great.

Wednesday didn't happen due to a bit of a family emergency on her side, but that's alright. Shit happens.
Thursday was the company bowling thing. When we picked her up she was already half drunk, which means she was pretty damn funny.
After about an hour of bowling (that I suck at, by the way), people were going to start heading downtown. At that point she came and asked me if I really felt like going, and I really didn't mind either way. I had to be up at 6am so missing out on that wouldn't exactly break my heart. So she suggested just going back to her place to hang out.
So we did.
Similar to the last time, watching a movie with her head in my lap.
She asked if I was tired, which I surprisingly wasn't.
I could tell she was, and she mentioned that she could probably go right to bed, so I told her she could if she wanted.
"Are you going to join me?"
I had get her to repeat
Obviously the answer was yes
And we didn't even do the naughty
Even better
We spooned
And we talked
She warned me about her being crazy
About how she may just break my heart
I'll take that chance
"You're worth it"
She turned and faced me
Joked about how I was a good boy
Because I wouldn't take advantage
even though I most certainly wanted to be bad
"You can't always be good"
So I wasn't
If I didn't have work in the morning
She would have had me stay the night
Didn't want me to leave
I definitely didn't want to

Maybe I share too much, and seem to be repeating myself.
But I haven't felt this way about someone in a long long time. If ever.
Such a sap.

Anyways, in other news, work has been surprisingly busy this week.
I've worked Monday and Thursday night, they almost had me work tonight and I'll be working tomorrow night. I'm already at 50 hours for the week with one day to go and I didn't even work on my day off this time. They owe me large.
Might meet up with her after work tonight, so I'm going to get some shuteye beforehand just in case.
Anyone sick of me yet?

walking crawling climbing falling

Yeah yeah, the topic is once again the same.
Monday, I was at work at 7am, and had to work at night, training someone. Which meant I had to close. So fine, I worked until after 10pm. Waited around for a couple of people, the crush mainly, of course.
Went out for a couple of drinks, one drunk coworker made an ass out of himself, but that's nothing new.
But as for the topic at hand, there was lots of hand touching, and her hand on my leg and back and whatnot. This seems to be becoming more the norm lately, which I love.
She then drove me home, and when she dropped me off she said she'd get out and give me a hug.
So we hugged,
A kiss on the cheek for me
A kiss on the forehead for her
Said I was too sweet
Then kissed me
I feel like I'm fucking 16 again
Not sure whether that's a good thing

At times it feels like we are a couple, only not. And it seems as though several coworkers are under the impression we're already going out and such, which may say something, or not. We're doing something tomorrow since we both have the day off, not sure what. Then Thursday there's a company bowling thing, which we're going to attend briefly, then head downtown the Black Betty. Friday morning will be rough, and I'm so tired as it is from last night's lack of sleep. Oh well. The things I do for the opposite sex. One of 'em anyways.

Her hate is still prettier in person

This has been one long week, as I once again worked 6 days straight, and my reward? I'll get "some days off in the summer." Sure thing.

Anyways, tonight after work, I went out for a few drinks, as usual, and of course 'the crush' was there. And, to make a long story short, the guy who wants her too and has been miserable and wants me to die, was also there. So yeah, it was awkward for awhile. But as we got a ride home, we once again held hands in the back of the car, which I know may not seem like much, but my lord is she cute.
She then promised that this Wednesday, which we both have off, we would do something. Instead of backing out as she has a couple of times. Sweet.
So I figured, what better time to see if she'd want to go to a concert, on say, April 12th. Once again, sweet. As if Matt Good acoustic could get any better, and yet it has.

Life is good, I just need to ask for a raise.

To elaborate..

not that anyone cares.

She was drunk, and so was I.
We held hands in the cab on the ride home.
Back to her place.
She lied her head in my lap and we talked awhile.
Said she trusted me, that I wouldn't take advantage.
And I wouldn't.
She reminded me again that she wasn't ready for anything.
And also that she does in fact like me.
Said she'd love for me to stay over, but she didn't trust herself.
She walked me outside.
I held her in my arms as we waited for my cab, and lightning flashed in the sky.
Her hands slid up inside the back of my shirt,
Shortly before my ride came.
A quick, and surprising kiss goodnight, and it was over.

Today, neither of us spoke a word of it to eachother.
Hell, maybe that was the peak of it all. But it was too great for words.

And yes, I am a gigantic sap.

Last night..

Best night in forever !

That shit spreads

For the first time in quite a long while, I actually feel good. Somewhat happy, even.
Not that I was ever really sad, though I did have minor ups and downs, but for the most part I felt, well, nothing, utter apathy, stuck in the middle. Simply coasting.

In this past week especially I've had a sustained bounce in my step, though I can't say anything is dramatically different than it was a week ago. I feel like I've pretty much settled into my new job (6 months later), the people I work with are great, the concert on Friday was fun, and the upcoming Matt Good show will be fantastic.
There is of course the whole situation of uncertainty with 'the crush'. But for once, I'm going into this seeing only the positives, one way or another. I've let her know where I stand, and am perfectly fine with giving her all the time she needs and if it happens, perfect. If not at least I've gained a new friend, who I must say, is tremendously awesome.
I'll stop there before I sound like too much of a sap (too late, I know).

Anyways, the show on Friday was pretty good. Stabilo opened so I suppose I could've left after that, but I stayed, and all the other bands sounded pretty good. It was a short show, but I figure that had to do with it being a part of some Sirius radio/internet broadcast type thing. Four bands in two hours, oh well.

Angels say they can make you suffer, Give and take like a vicious lover

I hope no one missed me.
The fallout has come, and really wasn't all that much.
The answer was we'd go out when she got out of her "funk". Which, as I found out later, means getting over some lingering issues of boyfriends past. I really didn't pry into the details of it all. That answer was good enough for me, because I have been there and done that myself.
We've been talking a fair bit on msn, some serious, some not. Tuesday she was extra huggy, and even suggested I come over and watch a movie or something that night. Unfortunately that didn't pan out, but things seem to be going somewhat well. I guess. However, I can't help but feel like I'm setting myself up for a fall. Not to mention the possible drama, as there's another coworker who's known her much longer than me quite obviously has feelings for her as well, and has become quite the grouch because of it.

In other news, last Thursday, I drank my face off as we celebrated a coworkers birthday at a bar downtown. I had fun. The only downside being I drank far too much, and had about two hours of sleep before getting up and going back to work. Friday was rough. Then on Saturday, it was my bosses bachelor party. I really didn't want to go but there I was making my first trip to a stripclub. I like titties and all, but my god what a waste of money.
Though there's something very amusing about watching your all powerful boss push a half naked woman off his lap and proceeding to puke his guts out into a champagne bucket.

Anyways, Friday I get to see Stabilo, and April 12th is Matt Good. I'm psyched.