long road to ruin

I keep myself busy. I keep myself tired. If I'm not working, I'm sleeping, or at least in a state close to sleep. Some time in between all that I find to drink.
Yet somehow, amidst all that I find time to think about you. Or rather, it finds me. Kind of sick of it to be honest. Maybe it's the closure I need. Not sure, but I'm edging myself closer to finding out. I don't know what to do or say once I get there, but this is something I feel I may need to do, for sanity's sake.