Fuck this is cheesy
Just finished an interesting phonecall.
I hadn't talked to her in months. I had gone back and forth on whether or not I should call her, or let her be the one to call me, if she ever decided to do so. In the same vein I was torn or whether I should miss her, resent her, or completely forget her. She admitted to be being an "asshole". Whether she meant an asshole towards me, or the way things were done or whatever, I'm not sure, but it's something I guess.
And while I've always found the restentment option the most unlikely, and in a way, the pettiest, I now see it as impossible. Every so often I would wonder why she hadn't made an effort to contact me. It definitely made me lean towards the 'completely forget' option. However, after this latest phonecall, in which she decided to call me, I heard about everything she had gone through in the past few months and I realized why she hadn't. Hell, if I had to deal with all of that, I wouldn't want to talk to anyone, period.
So in the end, the only real option is 'miss her'. Maybe not in the way I once did. But in the fairly short time we really knew eachother, she had a pretty big effect on my life. Those kind of people seem to come along once in awhile, at least for me. Whether it's four years, or four months doesn't matter. It's what they leave behind.
We promise to keep in touch, to get together one way or another. Whether it will happen or not, who knows. But at least I leave this with no regret, no resentment, no bitterness. Only a strange, awkward maybe, happy ending of sorts.
The end.
I hadn't talked to her in months. I had gone back and forth on whether or not I should call her, or let her be the one to call me, if she ever decided to do so. In the same vein I was torn or whether I should miss her, resent her, or completely forget her. She admitted to be being an "asshole". Whether she meant an asshole towards me, or the way things were done or whatever, I'm not sure, but it's something I guess.
And while I've always found the restentment option the most unlikely, and in a way, the pettiest, I now see it as impossible. Every so often I would wonder why she hadn't made an effort to contact me. It definitely made me lean towards the 'completely forget' option. However, after this latest phonecall, in which she decided to call me, I heard about everything she had gone through in the past few months and I realized why she hadn't. Hell, if I had to deal with all of that, I wouldn't want to talk to anyone, period.
So in the end, the only real option is 'miss her'. Maybe not in the way I once did. But in the fairly short time we really knew eachother, she had a pretty big effect on my life. Those kind of people seem to come along once in awhile, at least for me. Whether it's four years, or four months doesn't matter. It's what they leave behind.
We promise to keep in touch, to get together one way or another. Whether it will happen or not, who knows. But at least I leave this with no regret, no resentment, no bitterness. Only a strange, awkward maybe, happy ending of sorts.
The end.
posted by Sean at
9:48 p.m.
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