I've seen it all and it's never enough, it keeps leaving me needing you

Today, as I was walking home from the grocery store, I walked past my old elementary school and it hit me that it's been 10 years since I've graduated from that place. 10 years is a long time. It's also been 5 since I graduated highschool and I'm pretty much in the same position now as I was then. Older, slightly more experienced and just as immature. My lack of direction worries me occasionally despite the fact that, if you think about it, I'm still fairly young. Only four years removed from being a 20 year old kid, yet only 6 years from being a full grown 30. And if 10 years can go by that fast, 6 certainly can as well.


Naturally, at the time it didn't seem to be going by all that fast, it certainly did when I look back on it. My mom asked me the other day what I did for my 16th birthday (because my sister's is coming up this month), and I couldn't for the life of me remember, and she asked "was it that long ago?" Yeah, it was actually. Such is life.

Up in smoke, this is a joke, isn't it?

So another weekend has come and gone. How did yours go?
Mine went far too quickly and with very little accomplished. I worked Saturday night, then drank, of course, finishing off another 50+ hour work week. Chitchatting with a couple of coworkers and the bartender, who already knows what my drink is, that can't be a good sign.
Sunday I spent most of the day in bed, not even any hockey today due to the rain I suppose. Then I finally got up around 1 and stuffed my face. And that's pretty much it.
I'm starting to wonder why I'm even blogging this, because there isn't a whole lot to say.

I can't believe that it's already almost December, and soon it'll be Christmas, and time for all the inevitable family gatherings I've grown to dread over the years. I get the feeling I'll be working Christmas eve as well, seeing as it's a Saturday, and I'll get Christmas day off, which is a Sunday, so I'd be getting it off anyways. How lovely.
Anyways, I need to go shower, I feel gross. Seanovision out!

..And I'm drowning in the sky

Figured it was time for an update of little importance. Yesterday I worked for about 14 hours, and it was as fun as it sounds. It will be another long day on Saturday as well. Same as last Saturday, though last week was made bearable by 15 or so co-workers heading next door to the Boston Pizza and drinking and eating, and doing a little smoking afterwards. It certainly helps, being that I often feel more stressed out than I really should be. I suppose that's what I get for being one that bottles up their emotions, aside from a few releases here and there.

Anyways, it's getting pretty cold out there, and I for one am not impressed. In fact, there's supposed to be 10cm of snow overnight. Just lovely. Here comes winter. Now if you'll excuse me, Lost is on.

Stumbling from one disaster to another

I came to some sort of realization today while riding to work on the bus, ah yes, the bus. Anyways, I've come to see that it's not the girl in particular I've been missing, it's the contact. And not even the sexual kind, though there's that too. It's the connection and the warmth, the cuddling, the holding of hands, the comfortable silences. It all sounds so sappy when put into to words, but then again, I'm just a big sap myself, so I guess it all makes sense. It just kind of hit me this morning while I was watching the first snowfall of the season through a dirty bus window.
So here it is, my epiphany of sorts, in blog form, being written down at work, instead of doing, well, work, because I'm a dork.

By the way, you know you work long hours when multiple people come up to you during the day saying "you're still here?!" I'm tired, and it's 8pm and I still haven't eaten dinner. Boo!

I need a haircut, that may be

But I'm still a motherfuckin' p.i.m.p.

So, as you can see, I went shopping again today. Picked up a couple pairs of jeans, a belt, and this sexy ass jacket. Not exactly appropriate for the upcoming cold weather, but I just looked so hot in it, I couldn't help myself. Oh, and I had taco bell of course.

I can't believe it's already half way through November already, time sure is flying by. For me at least.

falls out of me, these sockets in my head

I was reading this lovely young lady's blog, and got to thinking about all the daydreaming I do. The whole phenomenon has practically taken over every facet of my life. Constantly thinking about what I could have done, what could have happened, what I could do or say (but never will), random scenerios that never, and could never come to pass. Kind of makes me wonder how content I really am with the way my life has gone, how it's going and where it's going to go.

Even when I'm doing something that requires some sort of mental concentration, such as having a conversation or paperwork or what have you, my mind seems to flicker between what I'm doing, and these random thoughts. I'll replay talks that could've gone differently, and talks that never even happened, wishing they had. This is of course why these short little blog entries sometimes take me half an hour, and why I just now posted in Christy's blog despite being in the middle of this entry. That, and why my entries are always all over the place.

It also makes me wonder how many others have this.. affliction. And whether or not it's a good or bad thing that my mind is so, lively. Well, maybe not lively, but more like a.d.d. ridden. And whether or not one day these things I conjure up in my head will be acted upon and put to the test. Probably not, but it's nice to think about the possible outcomes, isn't it?

a thousand lamps won't lift the dark, the rest of our lives might've already past

Ok, haven't posted in a few days so I thought I'd give it a go.

I'm not working tonight by the way, it's an early christmas miracle! Work's been fairly 'meh' this week, so I decided to go shopping today. Hoorah Dixie outlet mall! I bought a new winter jacket, not the exact one I wanted, but fairly close, and a couple of dress-y sweaters (though I have nowhere to wear them), and a fleece pullover thingamabob. I couldn't find any shoes though. Sadness. I almost bought a gorgeous warmup jacket thingamabob, but my cheapness got the better of me. However, I may go back on Wednesday, and if it's there I'll buy, because man did I look hot in it. Anyways, I ate a giant burrito, and currently have quite the headache, oh the perils of shopping. And this has sadly been the highlight of my week.

I wish I had something deep and meaningful to put here, as I coast aimlessly through the final weeks of this year, but alas, I do not. So goodnight and fair thee well.


ps. if you were serious Christy, about the white cheddar popcorn, I will gladly send you some, and s'more after that if you likes it.

My name is Sean and I'm a blogwhore

Sometimes I think I post too much about nothing, but who reads this really? Exactly.

So this morning I worked, then I came home, napped for an hour then went back to work. How sad am I? Quite. But after that, I went to Boston Pizza again, and met up with a few people work, and drank a whole lot, and bitched about work, and felt like 'one of the guys' for the first time in a long time. Luckily I was also able to hitch a ride home with some girlies from work whom I probably won't remember come morning time, but I am thankful. Now I'm eating and drinking water in hopes of avoiding a hangover tomorrow morning, because I want to play hockey. I'm also listening to Age of Electric because of Christy's msn name, and oh how I missed this cd. <3

So yes, another pointless entry. Thanks for your time.

I almost dialed your number when I thought the coast was clear

I am so goddamned sore. Every inch of me almost. I suppose that's what happens after lugging around 6000 lbs of meat, twice in three days will do to you. Plus working 10 hour days, 5 days a week, plus all the overtime shit is wearing me down a bit.
I was scheduled to work 5pm till whenever on thursday friday saturday, but thankfully I got tonight off. Francois, who referred to me as 'super sean' didn't want me to get burned out. At least my work is appreciated by someone.
So instead I went over to Boston Pizza, and drank beer, and wrote, because that's what alcohol tends to do for me. Well that and thinking far too much about things I shouldn't, but this is no emo blog. So now I need to sleep because I have work in the morning, goodnight people.