Die young & save yourself

I suppose a 'happy new year' is in order.
I have nothing to update on, really. It's the end of the year, and while nothing has really changed, I don't think I feel the same.
Over all it was a good year. I started two new jobs, both of them upgrades I suppose.
I saw 3 of my favourite artists in concert this year (Matt Good/Brand New/Wintersleep). I went on vacation for the first time in years. Hung out with my cousin, and it was good times.
If all goes according to plan, I'll be moving by the end of January, not exactly out on my own, but my name will be on the mortgage. And I'll have a floor to myself. So it's a start I guess.
I still don't know what my future will bring, and I still can't shake certain parts of my past. But hey, I can be optimistic, this'll be a good one.

misery loves company (and so do I)

I haven't used this thing in awhile, obviously, but I don't think anyone reads this, so I guess that's not relevent.
Is it weird that I've actually considered seeing a therapist.
Not that I'd actually go through with it. But still, not that I think there's something especially wrong with me.
I'm just never happy. I'm functional. I get through the day. But still, I feel like a big open wound that's never healed. And hell, I feel like a giant drama queen just saying that.
And now I wonder what good it would do, I can't even really open up to myself, let alone someone else.
I need a fuckin' vacation.

____________________
This is my beginning
This is me tired of swimming
against a current
Taking me nowhere